5 Good Things About Getting Older

A rediscovered essay, a simple game and a reminder that the best answers often come when we’re not racing the clock.

Here’s an article I stumbled across that I wrote fifteen years ago. It strikes me not because I’ve changed my mind, but because I haven’t. The words still rang true to my experience.

Knowing my friends were planning a couple of board game nights a while back, I picked up a new (to me) game called Name 5. The premise is pretty simple – players advance on a game board by naming five items on a list from a card they draw.

A timer is involved, so that pretty much kills my chances of doing well because my brain just can’t recall specifics when a timer is ticking, but the game is a lot of fun.

One of the cards asks the player to name five good things about getting older. So here’s my stab at an answer without a timer.

1. The lows aren’t as low as they used to be. I’ve never been an overly emotional person, outwardly, but internally, when I was younger, nearly every bump in the road felt like a crisis and when a genuine crisis occurred, I didn’t think I would survive it. I’m just talking about the typical teenage angst – girls, popularity, sports. With age came perspective, though. By surviving previous trials, I know that somehow, I’ll survive new ones too.

2. Having a core set of people you can trust. Half of my friendships were formed in high school or on my first job. I know they are going to be present when I need them, and I think they can same the same about me. We’ve seen the best and worst in each other, but still, the friendships remain. That’s not often the case younger in life – when so many relationships are based on performance.

3. Entertainment is more about the people you are with than the activity. The question that never changes is – what do you want to do? In high school, we went cruising, attended dances, went to football games and listened to music together. The event was necessary. Now, I go to coffee shops, go to movies, go to sporting events and a few other things, but mostly, the events are just the backdrop.

4. Having the ability to look backward and forward. I had a conversation with one of my nieces the other day. She’s twenty and trying to figure out her place in the world. I told her about the hardships that the previous generations in our family endured so my generation and hers would have more opportunities. I wanted her to know that her generation doesn’t exist in a void.

5. Digging deeper instead of wider. When I was a boy, I wanted to become a football player, a tennis player or a rock star when I grew up. I was also into stamp collecting, rock collecting (for about two hours), coin collecting, baseball card collecting, and lots of other things. My passions aren’t spread as thin anymore. Today, I read every book a favorite author writes. I listen to entire albums, not just hit songs. I put my feet up and turn everything off sometimes, just to think. Depth is more satisfying.

Reading this article again now, I’m mostly struck by how familiar it feels. None of it surprises me, and none of it feels especially profound. It just sounds like someone paying attention to his own life. Fifteen years later, I suppose I’m still doing the same thing – naming what seems to matter, without a timer running.